How working parents are dealing with COVID-19 School Virtual Learning Plans

Tuesday, March 17th, St Patrick’s Day.  It’s 7.56 am and both my Lower School daughter Darcy and Middle School son Calvin are about to start their virtual learning plan lessons from their makeshift classrooms at home (finally, an incentive to tidy their bedrooms!).  In response to COVID-19, it was announced (ironically on Friday the 13th) that schools may be closed until the end of the school year if not until the calendar year. Google Meet and Google Classroom are now pretty much the new norm in our household.

Despite the explosion of bad news over the last week due to the global pandemic, this morning I decided to turn to fashion to brighten up the day.  I accessorized my outfit with oversized yellow J Crew earrings, trying to add a little color and light to the situation we are now in, pretty much confined to our houses.  I had purchased the earrings a few weeks ago and I love them, they just make me happy. They accompanied me with another recent purchase, a black Ted Baker cocktail dress, to my children’s school fund raising event at the Union League in Philadelphia, which my husband Donald and I attended on the 7th March. At the time, I didn’t realize I was attending the last social event for the foreseeable future.

Just before lessons were about to start this morning, I helped my children get settled in and then quietly left their “classrooms”.

There was no “I love you mom, thank’s for all your help with the set up”. (I won’t bore you with the day we had yesterday, which I spent disinfecting the house, preparing their rooms, getting the laundry and clothes ready and laid out for this morning, managing sibling rivalry whilst locating all their learning materials, emptying their backpacks and creating an environment and space that would promote online learning so today would be a success).

Instead, what I was told as I left their rooms was quite unexpected. “Please do not disturb me, If you need to take a call, please go to the basement”.  This response was from Darcy (who is in 5th grade, 10 years old going on 21!) Wow! I thought to myself, Darcy will do well in the executive board room one day, no messing with her! It did make me stop and pause however, perhaps I should have been a little tougher with my approach. Is her “way of working” indicative of how she will respond to her children when (if) she has children of her own one day and has to work from home?  All those years I managed hours of work TC’s and facilitated 8 hr virtual meetings from home during snowstorms, school closures and when she was sick, I would anxiously tiptoe around her, I mollycoddled her and even went out my way to bribe her with cookies to keep her quiet. Maybe a tougher, more direct approach would have worked better?

My son’s response was a little different, a little more pensive, calculating, analytical and strategic…“My lessons only go from 8.00 am to 12.00 pm, but we have already been told, there could potentially be some technical difficulties, for me, this is good news as there could be even less school so I have more time to relax” (this is 12-year-old code for checking in on his iPhone group chat).  My response was “Well, you can’t have your phone or any electronics until 3.00 pm, the typical end of the school day, so just read a book, do some music; piano or viola practice, or just play in your room”. That’s when the debate started, but I soon ended it by saying with a smile “Get used to it Calvin, that’s how it’s going to be until we return to school”. With that said, I know it’s going to be a long few months!

So for a very top level after action review of today’s kick start for our first  “Virtual Learning Home Schooling”, I find that it has been far easier than the normal morning school routine I have grown accustomed to. Typically, I would be rushing the children from bed to breakfast and shouting constant reminders between 6.00 am through to 7.15 am (when they get on the bus) for them to grab their backpacks, library books, instruments, sports gear, brush their hair, put their coats on, etc. The usual “nagging stereotypical mom” reminders we are all guilty of. Today, I felt as If I had forgotten something. There appeared to almost be a void that needed to be filled. There was a stillness in the air. It was quite refreshing. A new calmness that we had never experienced during the morning routine. As soon as the children finished breakfast they were keen to retreat to their rooms and log into their lessons.  Today is a new day, and, with this type of “distance learning” the morning school routine should not change that much whether there is a sick day or a snow day, we just all stay home, it seems quite simple, just not as social. We just all have to get used to it.

For the most part of my career, I have been a working mom. I have always taken personal accountability of the school run from day care when my son was just 6 weeks, through Montessori School from Pre-K to Kindergarten, and into Lower and Middle School for both my children. I never imagined that they would ever be “homeschooled” so to speak, or that it could even be a pleasant experience (Seriously, this wasn’t on my top list of priorities! Just helping with homework in the past has been exhausting, a test of resilience patience and rejection as help is often unrequited). Going to school has also involved navigating through sick days, school conference days, medical and dental appointment days, snow days, school power outage days, and even the Philadelphia Eagles winning the Super Bowl “Parade” days!  Seriously! I’m sure there are many of you nodding who can relate to this, the list never ends, and it really doesn’t as now we can add “Global Pandemic Days”.

But what changed today and what did we learn as working parents about the morning routine? Why have I felt compelled to capture my thoughts and reflections on this, what I think is, a historic moment? For the first time, the “morning routine” process changed dramatically.… and I can honestly say, (and I might be saying this a little prematurely as lessons have barely started), it is quite a pleasant experience.  Yes, It’s going to be much more of a challenge with those who have children who are typically in day care through to Lower School, but I’ll take this as a “hoorah” moment for the future of all moms and primary caregivers that have struggled to juggle and manage work-life integration. Maybe this is a turning point as now we will ALL experience what it’s like first hand to have to give care to our young and most vulnerable whilst working remotely, learn from it and acknowledge that it’s not easy.  To work under such circumstances is a strength and not a taboo that we feel we need to hide.